January 20 2025
Singing and Dancing to My Own Tune: A Symphony of Self
Morning Stillness & Missed Satsang
Another morning slipped by, and I missed both satsang and yoga. It’s hard to believe I have only a few days left at Govardhan Eco Village. The Flower Festival is on Saturday, and then on Sunday, I’m off to Bali. Rainy season awaits, and while I’m a little worried about how much I’ll be able to do, I’m reminding myself that whatever happens will be perfect in its own way.
Harmonium & Music as Memory
The day started quietly, with harmonium practice taking center stage. I shared the mashup I’d worked on—Dancing in the Dark and Radhe Govinda. Quincy recorded me (click picture for video!), and I’m so grateful to have that memory preserved. As much as my carpal tunnel is acting up, I’m soaking up these last few moments of training and reflecting on how music has been such a powerful part of this journey.
The Food Dance: Nourishment vs. Control
Meals have been a strange balancing act lately. I had dinner with Trish, hugged her tight, and shared a moment of connection. But soon after, I retreated to my room with some veggies to go. It’s a habit I’ve grown comfortable with—eating alone in my space—but tonight was different. I paused, asked my body what it needed, and listened. Movement, it said. Not more food, not distraction—just movement.
A Walk Through the Shadows
So, I set out for a walk around the lake. The reflections of the palm trees on the water caught my eye, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d seen this image before—not here, but somewhere in my mind’s eye. It felt like déjà vu, strange yet comforting, as though I was being reminded that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.
As I passed the gazebo, I found a stray yoga mat and couldn’t resist. I rolled it out, let my body guide me, and moved in my own way. It was a profound reminder that my practice is my own. I don’t need to conform to another teacher’s flow, especially if it doesn’t serve my body. My intuition, my rules, my flow.
The Rhythm of Liberation
The yoga evolved into something more—a song poured out of me, and before I knew it, I was singing and dancing in the dark, completely uninhibited. It wasn’t to a Hare Krishna tune, but to my own melody, my own rhythm. It was ecstatic, pure medicine for my soul. In that moment, I felt Kali Ma’s divine grace wash over me, reminding me that I am in perfect alignment. I am dancing to my own tune, singing my own song, moving to the rhythm of my heart.
Reflections & Rest
When I eventually made my way back to my room, it was past 10 PM. I ate my watermelon and papaya and spent too long comparing Airbnbs, finally heading to bed at 12:30 AM with a migraine.
But as I reflect on the day, the spiritual lesson shines through: life is about learning to dance to your own tune, to honor your own flow. The world will try to pull you into its rhythms, its expectations, its demands, but true freedom is found in trusting your own intuition. Tonight, in the middle of the darkness, surrounded by the quiet beauty of the Eco Village, I reclaimed my flow. I remembered that my body, my voice, and my spirit are my own.
Kali Ma was with me tonight, whispering, You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Right on time. Keep dancing, my child. Keep singing your song.
With love & gratitude,
Eve AKA Kali Grayce
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